The narcissistic orientation is one in which
one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the
phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are
experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one.
The
Art of Loving, Erich Fromm
Narcissism and Narcissistic
Personality Disorder
The label of “narcissist” comes from a Greek myth about
the hunter named Narcissus who was so proud of his own physical attractiveness
that he showed great disdain for anyone who loved him. According to this myth,
Nemesis, the goddess of divine retribution, decided that Narcissus was a tad
too arrogant for her liking. The story goes that Nemesis enticed Narcissus to a
pool of water where he saw his own reflection and fell in love with it. Not
understanding that this was his own reflection, Narcissus pined for the
beautiful being he saw before him. But alas, his reflection could not return
love. Narcissus ends up dying next to the reflecting pool, unable to separate
himself from his own image.
Nowadays we use the term, “narcissistic” to describe
someone who is arrogant and full of him or herself. But there can be more to
this type of personality than just a big ego. Some individuals meet the
criteria for a psychiatric label of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
To be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder,
you must meet criteria spelled out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of
Mental Disorders (DSM). This manual is published by the American Psychiatric
Association and is used by mental health providers to diagnose mental
conditions and by insurance companies to reimburse for treatment.
Criteria for narcissistic personality disorder to be
diagnosed include:
·
Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
·
Being preoccupied with fantasies about success,
power or beauty
·
Believing that you are special and can associate
only with equally special people
·
Requiring constant admiration
·
Having a sense of entitlement
·
Taking advantage of others
·
Having an inability to recognize needs and
feelings of others
·
Being envious of others
·
Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner
Narcissism and
Depression
Narcissism and depression are believed to sometimes occur
together, probably because the narcissistic personality is incapable of
developing true feelings of self-worth or intimacy with others. Some experts
believe that narcissism can easily occur simultaneously with bipolar disorder,
a type of depression. People with narcissism generally rely heavily on the care
and attention of others for their feelings of self-worth, such that when that
attention is withdrawn, they might fall into depression. The causes of
narcissism are believed to stem from neglect or abuse in infancy or very early
childhood, so narcissism and depression might occur together due to the
irreparable damage these early experiences might have had on the narcissist
person's self-esteem. Some believe that the narcissist's extreme sense of
self-involvement makes it difficult for him, not only to experience empathy
with another's needs, but to fully perceive the existence of other individuals
at all.
Freud said that the depressive lost a love object (was
deprived of a properly functioning parent). The psychic trauma suffered is
curable only by inflicting self-punishment (thus implicitly
"punishing" and devaluing the internalized version of the
disappointing love object). The development of the Ego is conditioned upon the
successful resolution of the loss of the love objects (that all of us have to
go through). When the love object fails – the child is furious, revengeful,
aggressive. Unable to direct these negative emotions at the deserving parent –
the child resorts to directing them at himself. Narcissistic identification
means that the child prefers to love himself (direct libido at himself) than to
love an unpredictable, abandoning parent (mother, in most cases). Thus, the child
becomes his own parent – and directs his aggression at himself (=to the parent
that he is). Throughout this wrenching process, the Ego feels helpless and this
is another major source of depression.
The typical narcissist believes that his own opinions and
beliefs are always the correct ones, and that he is generally perfect in just
about every way. Most psychologists believe, however, that the narcissist's
extremely high self-opinion is just a facade covering deeply-held feelings of
low self-esteem and low self-worth. It is therefore generally believed that the
narcissist seeks to surround himself with people who will praise and flatter
him, agree with all of his opinions and beliefs, and attend to all of his
needs, even to the exclusion of their own. The average narcissist, however, is
usually incapable of realizing that other people have valid feelings, needs,
opinions, and beliefs of their own, which can make the narcissist a very
difficult person for others to be around, especially in an emotionally intimate
fashion.
Most psychologists believe that it is only a matter of
time before the narcissist's friends, relations, and romantic partners assert
their own needs. In order to do so, these individuals must typically reject the
narcissist's delusions of personal greatness. Without the constant, unrelenting
validation and support of those close to him, the narcissist is usually left
without the inner resources to prop up his own sense of self-esteem and
well-being. Narcissism and depression therefore might occur together because
the narcissist may often find himself alone, without the strong social support
he typically needs to continue feeling superior to others.
The typical narcissist cannot comprehend that he is not
in some way superior to those around him. Symptoms of narcissistic personality
disorder are believed to grow worse as the narcissist ages. The younger
narcissist typically respects only those he sees as authority figures, such as
parents or mentors, and only these are believed capable of keeping his often
contrary personality in check. Psychologists believe that, as the typical
narcissist reaches middle age and older, these authority figures usually die
off, leaving the narcissist able to think as highly of himself as he likes and
treat others as badly as he likes. As the aging narcissist grows harder and
harder to deal with, he may find himself more and more socially isolated, such
that narcissism and depression may be more likely to occur together as the
individual reaches old age.
Depressive Narcissism
Types
The life of the typical narcissist is, indeed, punctuated
with recurrent bouts of dysphoria (ubiquitous sadness and hopelessness),
anhedonia (loss of the ability to feel pleasure), and clinical forms of depression
(cyclothymic, dysthymic, or other). This picture is further obfuscated by the frequent
presence of mood disorders, such as Bipolar I (co-morbidity).
While the distinction between reactive (exogenous) and
endogenous depression is obsolete, it is still useful in the context of
narcissism. Narcissists react with depression not only to life crises but to
fluctuations in Narcissistic Supply.
The narcissist's personality is disorganized and
precariously balanced. He regulates his sense of self-worth by consuming
Narcissistic Supply from others. Any threat to the uninterrupted flow of said
supply compromises his psychological integrity and his ability to function. It
is perceived by the narcissist as life threatening.
1. Loss Induced Dysphoria
This is the narcissist's depressive reaction to the loss
of one or more Sources of Narcissistic Supply – or to the disintegration of a
Pathological Narcissistic Space (PN Space, his stalking or hunting grounds, the
social unit whose members lavish him with attention).
2. Deficiency Induced Dysphoria
Deep and acute depression which follows the
aforementioned losses of Supply Sources or a PN Space. Having mourned these
losses, the narcissist now grieves their inevitable outcome – the absence or
deficiency of Narcissistic Supply. Paradoxically, this dysphoria energizes the
narcissist and moves him to find new Sources of Supply to replenish his
dilapidated stock (thus initiating a Narcissistic Cycle).
3. Self-Worth Dysregulation Dysphoria
The narcissist reacts with depression to criticism or
disagreement, especially from a trusted and long-term Source of Narcissistic
Supply. He fears the imminent loss of the source and the damage to his own,
fragile, mental balance. The narcissist also resents his vulnerability and his
extreme dependence on feedback from others. This type of depressive reaction
is, therefore, a mutation of self-directed aggression.
4. Grandiosity Gap Dysphoria
The narcissist's firmly, though counterfactually,
perceives himself as omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, brilliant,
accomplished, irresistible, immune, and invincible. Any data to the contrary is
usually filtered, altered, or discarded altogether. Still, sometimes reality
intrudes and creates a Grandiosity Gap. The narcissist is forced to face his
mortality, limitations, ignorance, and relative inferiority. He sulks and sinks
into an incapacitating but short-lived dysphoria.
5. Self-Punishing Dysphoria
Deep inside, the narcissist hates himself and doubts his
own worth. He deplores his desperate addiction to Narcissistic Supply. He
judges his actions and intentions harshly and sadistically. He may be unaware
of these dynamics – but they are at the heart of the narcissistic disorder and
the reason the narcissist had to resort to narcissism as a defense mechanism in
the first place. This inexhaustible well of ill will, self-chastisement,
self-doubt, and self-directed aggression yields numerous self-defeating and
self-destructive behaviors – from reckless driving and substance abuse to suicidal
ideation and constant depression. It is the narcissist's ability to confabulate
that saves him from himself. His grandiose fantasies remove him from reality
and prevent recurrent narcissistic injuries. Many narcissists end up
delusional, schizoid, or paranoid. To avoid agonizing and gnawing depression,
they give up on life itself.
Adolescence
Nowadays, the close-knit social groups that at one time
surrounded and supported the individual are lacking. Equally lacking in
post-modern society are clear-cut perspectives of adulthood for the adolescent
to see. The search for identity has become harder for the adolescent. They may,
therefore, sometimes resort to extremist groups that will give them a grandiose
identity and self-worth, especially when they are confronted with the demands of
an ideal ego. This becomes especially pressing when they abandon the world of dependency
upon their parents. Coming into contact with reality, without the sense of parental
support, the adolescent suffers narcissistic injury, experiencing weakness
because stripped of fantasies of omnipotence. Under certain conditions of
internal or external pressure, it is often exceptionally hard for the
adolescent to construct a self-image while under pressure from the mental pain
of disharmony between the real and the ideal self.
Adolescents are more prone to depressive reactions,
precisely because of their narcissistic vulnerability. Although the incidence
of major depressive disorder is no higher amongst adolescents than adults,
depression in adolescence is associated with higher rates of suicide and
serious psychosocial deficits. It also greatly increases the probability of depression
or substance abuse during young adulthood.
Adolescents are subjected to instinctual and
environmental demands at the same time as losing parental protection and moving
towards forming external object relations. It might not be irrelevant that at
this age we see a more severe picture without the prognostic consequences that
the same clinical picture would have in adulthood. In addition, there are
parental narcissistic demands that implicitly or explicitly, consciously or unconsciously
tend to idealize their children, impelling them to achieve more and more.
In adolescents often see the hedonistic, self-destructive
characteristics that their narcissistic type of depression might take on. These
are the moments when, through acting out, they feel they become grandiose,
tragic heroes because they cannot be the heroes that the ego-ideal is pressing
them to be. Ladame (1987) noted that depressive and narcissistic adolescents
lack a balanced self and object representation, which would help them to
regulate their relationship with external objects, and tend to make archaic primary
identifications where self and object are more or less fused. Lorand (1967) emphasized
the formation of ego-ideal disturbances in the development of depressive
conditions in adolescents and the effect this has on the construction of an
identity. In the depressed adolescent, we see a connection between the confused
identity of self and the early identifications, which play a decisive part in the
quality of the ideal of the ego as it is being formed.
Anthony (1970) distinguished two types of depression in
adolescence:
1) Mostly pre-Oedipal psychopathology with a disharmony
of the ego and ideal of the ego and the consequential effects on self-esteem,
shame, inferiority, insufficiency, weakness and narcissistic object relations,
orality and dependency (narcissistic in nature).
2) Mostly Oedipal with guilt and moral masochism, linked
to the punishing superego, introverted aggression and hatred (neurotic in nature).
Sources and
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